Why do you think so much about people who don’t even care if you are ok? Why is it bad to be a good person now a days?
What do you do when people suddenly start ignoring you? You give people your time but they ignore you instead.
See, I am the type of person who always does things for others, the person who always is worried about others well being, the person who will stay on the chat window till you reply, the person who will respond to your texts in a min even if you don’t see my texts for weeks — You can see where I am going with this.
People like me are generally considered “too good” for this world. We get attached to people so quickly that even Usain bolt can’t keep up. Recently I had a similar experience with “this person”.
Let me summarize that in a few points and for the solutions that worked for me you can just directly scroll to the bottom. Here it goes —
Act 1 : THE SWEET INTRO
— Day 1 —
You are introduced to the actor in this part and at first it seems like a normal human interaction. You start getting to know them day by day and everything is going great.
Act 2 : THE TRANSITION
— Day 20 —
Now, this is where you start feeling “different” about them. You want to get closer to this person, become their partner (sort of) in whatever they do. So you seep deeper and deeper into their “charm” and it brings you utter joy to know that they feel the same way as you. How wonderful ! Right?
Act 3 : THE CONFORT ZONE
— Day 45 —
Ok, things are going well. They seem interesting and caring and you start caring for them. Calling them or texting daily, exchanging silly jokes, exchanging pics and videos, sharing memes, having fun convos, sharing your darkest secrets and so on…
You feel like this is it. This person is the best. Literally. In just a month people like us can get soooooo involved in a stranger’s life , it’s wild. I mean at this point I am already planning how the rest of my life is going to be with this person . . . what are we going to do when we meet? what shall their parents think of us? and other stupid things :/
Act 4: THE FALL OFF
— Day 60 —
This is the turning point in the story. From this point you sense something different about them. They aren’t as affectionate anymore. They don’t call or text you and ask you about your day anymore. They don’t tell you where they are going, when will they be back, why they aren’t picking your calls. . .
This is the point where you become paranoid. You start losing your mind. Someone who you cared so deeply for, someone who was always on your mind or someone who was the reason you wanted to do good in life won’t even see your texts and calls but will send you occasional snaps. And those snaps “break you down” because what you will see in them is picture of “them” enjoying and partying with someone you don’t know, going on a trip with their own friends out of no where, videos of them dancing at night clubs with some random people.
And all this, while you were busy worrying about them and calling them multiple times, sending texts . . .instead of focusing on your “own work” and giving time to “yourself”— This is the biggest mistake, trust me.
Now you lose hope, you feel like you lost the one person you wanted the most. Everything went down the drain in a matter of days. You just don’t understand what happened? It demotivates you and you start to miss the good times with the person. You start checking to see if they are online, will they message or not and a whole load of pointless things -_-
But . . It is time to take charge.
Act 5 : THE RECOVERY
You can’t feel down for the rest of your life, can you? Certainly not. So this is where I want to share some things that have worked for me personally in dealing with all this. I won’t make this any longer so let’s begin -
1. Stop Texting / Calling Them (first)
This is the first thing you should do. Simply try to control yourself and don’t always try to be the one who calls or texts first. These people don’t care and they might not even remember you at all until your name pops up on their screens. Once you stop making the first move, you will know whether they actually value you or not. If they do, then they will call or text. Otherwise, you know how it goes.
2. Share How You Feel With Someone (preferably a friend)
This is what actually helped me and some people that I know, while going through all this mess. Tell your friend how you feel, ask them — has something similar happened to them? I am pretty sure they will say “yes”.
Talking to them will make you feel like you did not lose it all. You still have amazing things in life that are worth far more. Your friend will pull you out of it, and if they went through the same stage and recovered then I guarantee you that you will start trusting yourself more and you will forget everything very quickly.
3. Don’t be available all the time (even if you are)
People have their phones in their hands all day, yet they somehow manage to not see your messages for a week.
What do you call this? It’s somewhat understandable for someone who works the whole day or is doing multiple jobs but even then . . . doesn’t seem reasonable.
If you are as stupid as I was, then you will tell me -
“Eh, it’s ok. They are just busy. . . that’s all. They will get back to me when they are free”
Yeah Right -_-
Stop this right now. Don’t justify someone not giving you their time. Don’t defend someone who doesn’t remember you throughout the day but comes to you when they need your help.
At last, just tell yourself this —
There are far more important things in life to be worried about. There are so many precious people I have in my life and yet I waste my time on the ones who are nothing but empty vessels that carry the tags of “companions” or “friends”.
